Memorials

Memorials remind us of a person who has died or an event in which people died, and they provide a place for people to express emotions and be supported by the community.  Memorials are an effective way to remember loss and celebrate life.  If conducted appropriately, they can provide a healing effect for the community and a lasting positive memory of all individuals that were involved in the tragedy.

You should really think about the decision to create permanent, physical memorials to deceased students or staff members.  In many cases, an alternative memorial activity is better than a permanent, fixed memorial.

Here are some things to think about when deciding whether or not to create a physical memorial:

Retraumatization – Memorials may actually force people to think about the event over and over and go through the trauma again and again.

Design – What should it look like?  What will people think about it today?  What will people think about it in the future?

Maintenance – Can the memorial be maintained?  Is there money to maintain it?

Input – Several different ideas should be gathered from several different groups before the final plan is set.

Time Commitment – Sometimes it takes years to plan a memorial.

Location – Where will it go?

Donations – Who will manage donations?  How will the project be funded?

Schools may also want to come up with a formal memorial policy that can be followed in case of future tragedies.

If a permanent memorial is not the best way for your community to respond, you may want to consider these memorial activities:

• Establishing a scholarship fund for graduating seniors or a foundation in the name of the deceased
• Gifts of library books or equipment
• Planting a tree or shrub with a plaque identifying the student and money set aside for care
• Cards, letters, and memory books written by students for the family of the deceased (school counseling staff should review students' written material or art work before giving them to the family to ensure that all content is sensitive and appropriate)
• Spontaneous memorials such as flowers at the site
• A moment of silence marking the event
• A temporary display honoring the deceased at school
• A memorial service or candlelight vigil
• A temporary plaque at the school, given to the family